Fotografia

Recently my dear friend IttyBittyKitty made a great insight about friendship and kink - that a shared fetish isn’t enough to sustain a friendship.

This could be said for any relationship, romantic or platonic. Regardless of what sector of the kinky community we align with, we have the same goal. We want to meet like minded people.

And that isn’t hard. It’s 2017, we have the internet at our fingertips. It isn’t difficult to meet people with interests more depraved than yours.

One of the most valuable things that stems from TTWD is friendship. I say this a lot, and I think about it a lot as well, because for a long time when I thought about joining this lifestyle, I assumed it would be this covert, once a month thing that I could keep secret.

But my head was in a different place. If you’ve heard my razor blade story, you know this.

New Year’s Eve has always been one of my favorite holidays. What could be better than celebrating something new with people close to you? Especially if you addthis ressing up and alcohol to the mix? It doesn’t get much better.

This year I had the opportunity to carry on the tradition of celebrating with friends. It was a little different this year - everyone I was with I knew in a kink context. My friend Crashdance, and her boyfriend/dom RBH found this amazing mansion in the middle of the woods (or what I consider to be the woods, because I had little to no cell service but I was surrounded by trees*).

And there was plenty of kinky activity abound. There was rope, there was rough body play, there was humiliation, there was mouth soaping. Occassionally there was spanking.

All to be expected.

But amongst all that, there were people cooking delicious meals. Sharing pictures of their pets. Playing boardgames. Wholesome, “normal things”. I think one of my favorite moments was the game of Truth or Dare that somehow became a game of Trare, (where you tell a truth while doing a dare -aka where several people probably had too much to drink so logic is basically out the window.

So there were a lot of “normal” party activities. But the reality is that none of us are normal. There is nothing standard, or acceptable in everyday society about our kinks, regardless of what they are. And it’s wonderful when we can all balance each other out, when we can coexist in a space doing all the things that bring us joy.

It overwhelmed me at times, and it still does, at how happy I am to be surrounded by such incredible people. On the last night, we sat around a bonfire, Laguna Beach style** and per the suggestion of BrattyBridget (aka the bossiest bottom in the world) we told each other our new years resolutions.

If every moment of the weekend was this pure, then we would have been different people, in a completely different setting. But there’s a balance, and it comes on those moments between when you’re not putting bruises on someone or tracing rope marks.

It’s wonderful when you can connect with someone in the midst of a scene, because kink often brings us people we never would have met. It’s even better when we can extend this intimacy beyond kinky proclivities into the everyday life.


* I DID NOT GET SWITCHED ONCE. WAS I EVEN IN THE WOODS??? I KNOW I SHOULD BE RELIEVED BUT I’M NOT AND I’M TAKING THIS PERSONALLY

**I didn’t make a single laguna beach joke because #knowyouraudience but I had a lot of Kristen/LC impressions in my head